Anatomy & Pleasure
Guides to toys and lubricants, body-positive sexual health answers, company news and stories from the Femme Journal, all searchable in one place.
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Questions these guides answer
How long does it normally take to orgasm?
There's no correct amount of time, and it varies hugely between people and from day to day. Many people, especially those with a vulva, need longer warm-up than they expect. Worrying about taking too long tends to slow things down further, so focus on what feels good rather than the clock. If timing is causing you distress, a clinician or sex therapist can help.
Can antidepressants stop you from having an orgasm?
Some can. Difficulty reaching orgasm is a well-known side effect of certain antidepressants, particularly SSRIs. Don't stop or adjust your medication on your own, as that can be risky. Talk to your prescriber instead; they may be able to review the dose, timing or type of medication. Depression itself can also affect desire and arousal, so it's worth discussing both.
Can using a vibrator too often make you numb?
Some people notice temporary numbness after a long or very intense session, and sensation typically returns after a rest. This isn't generally considered a cause of lasting harm. Varying intensity, starting on lower settings and taking breaks can help. If numbness is persistent, appears without toy use, or comes with other symptoms, check in with a clinician.
Is it normal not to orgasm from penetration alone?
Yes, very normal. For most people with a vulva, clitoral stimulation plays a central role in orgasm, and penetration on its own often doesn't provide much of it. Adding a hand, a partner's touch or a small vibrator during penetration isn't cheating or a sign something is wrong. It's simply how many bodies work.
Can stress really stop me from orgasming?
It can. Arousal depends on being able to relax and focus on sensation, and stress, anxiety and distraction all compete for your attention. Worrying about whether you'll orgasm adds another layer of pressure. Slowing down, taking orgasm off the table for a while and practicing mindful, sensation-focused touch can help. If anxiety is affecting your life more broadly, consider talking to a professional.
Can pelvic floor exercises help with orgasm?
The pelvic floor muscles contract during orgasm, and some people find that becoming more aware of them improves sensation. But more squeezing isn't always the answer: overly tight pelvic floor muscles can cause pain and make orgasm harder. A pelvic floor physical therapist can assess whether you need strengthening, relaxation or both before you start a routine.