Short answer
There's no correct amount of time, and it varies hugely between people and from day to day. Many people, especially those with a vulva, need longer warm-up than they expect. Worrying about taking too long tends to slow things down further, so focus on what feels good rather than the clock. If timing is causing you distress, a clinician or sex therapist can help.
Read the full guideTrouble Reaching Orgasm? Causes and Practical Tips That HelpTrouble reaching orgasm? Learn the common physical, emotional and medication-related causes, practical tips that help, and when to talk to a clinician. Updated November 9, 2026 · All questions