Short answer
That's really common. One person may want to be held while the other needs space. Talk about it beforehand and look for a middle ground, such as a few minutes apart followed by a cuddle, or sitting together quietly without much touch. Taking turns meeting each other's needs works well. What matters is that both people feel cared for.
Read the full guideAftercare: What It Is, Why It Matters & How to Do ItWhat is aftercare, and why does it matter after sex or kink? Learn what to do, how to plan it, what sub drop is, and when to check in with a clinician. Updated November 9, 2026 · All questions
